You Only Die Twice
by BooBoo
Summary: Part II: the sequel to "The Idiot and the Oddesy"


You Only die Twice  
By: BooBoo  
  
  
Foreword:  
This fanfic is a sequel to "The Idiot and the Oddesy" if you have not read that I request that you do so you understand the story lines of this story. The story you are about to read is the re-telling of "The Idiot"  
  
Y.O.D.T. foreword:  
Flying 'cross the universe upon a troubled star. Uncertainty is all around we don't know who we are. Lately I've been wond'rin if it's ever gonna come the days are gettin shorter and the changes have begun  
  
Y.O.D.T.:  
As Harris and Doug were searching the crime scene of the supposed murder of Won TheGame, a flash came down from the heavens." Aunt Bill's old cow Smythhiggans's grave!" yelled Harris. "Who or better yet what the Hell are you."  
"I'm the ghost of Won but somehow all the damn shits I meet seem to forget about me. Everybody thinks that Jack is so wonderful but now I will tell you the real story and believe me it ain't pretty or suitable for young children so please remove all children and people who are offended by the use of mild profanity move yo' John Brown hind parts right out the vicinity of the computer monitor's range."   
"Nine years ago my wife Lost and my son Tied were killed when my Uncle Beth passed some serious gas at my family reunion. Because of this I was sad and decided to take up the life of a sneaky, conniving (no not the President of the United States) I was a low-down, no good, sly fox ....drum roll...door to door salesman. I heard a new piss ant moved into Mineral Village so I went to sell him an apple that has been preserved in Grandpa Thelma's butt hair for three years for 500 g. He didn't buy it off me and that pissed me off but I got him back with a flower pot and a dog ball that he bought for a price way over acceptable. He did some strange things like one time he had to be pretty desperate for women because he asked Rick out on a date. He wasn't gay though, he thought Rick was a woman. And I'll never forget the time him and Karen were at the beach and him and Gregg were reminiscing about their days pimpin' it up in Cincinnati. Since those two moments and the stories I heard of him eating famous Nintendo characters he was pretty normal for the first month. Then he attempted to make Pastor Carter turn his beliefs from that damn goddess to God, almighty savoir of all, PRAISE THE LORD. Then Potpourri came in and asked what church is and good old Jack-a-roo told her it was where fagots like Carter butt-f***  
the damn goddess. Potpourri ran home with pieces of liquid turd running down her leg. And then the straw that broke the camels back came. One day at the bar Basil was so stoned he was running around offering hits the inn's cats. And Jacky was drunk off his donkey so they decided to change the meaning of a cock fight (fight between chickens). They were gonna have a sword fight with their Mr. Willis's. Basil's doink was so small from doing all that dope that Jack stabbed him once with his ding-a-ling and Basil fell of the table and broke his cock. He was hospitalized for a year with his shattered millimeter peter. Then after he was on Stu's team and they lost the tomato festival there was a brawl. Stu grabbed Jack's testicals and pushed him against a barrel and said 'Don't rape me when I'm mad or I'll loose my panties.' But Jack kept poking Stu with his penis until Stu got off him and ran home screaming ' Help my thong is on backwards!' There was also the time he made sausage out of Kano, you know the story, gruesome, isn't it? And then the day came. Jack and Basil were smoking Miracle Grow and got blazed. Then when I told him he had his seeds he shot me and you, Harris, was also high and you pissed your pants and ran. Since you can only die twice, that is the last time I tell my story. You are the biggest egg sucking patsy, yes you Harris, GOODBYE!"  
  
Still to come:  
Mystrile is forever- life after the Oddesy for Jack's son Chauncy and his bitch, the daughter of Elli and the doctor. I bet you are getting haemorrhoids just thinking about it.  
  
  
copyright 2001 BooBoo comedy and Literacy inc.  
I BooBoo now retire all of my Oprah and dope-smokin' Basil jokes as of now (probably until my next story because it's so hard to find good jokes these days cause piss-heads Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, and Chris Farley have used them all.)  



End file.
